No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
