Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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