I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im six kinds of drunk right now
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
