Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we made out on top of his cat.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize