i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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