dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just pee around me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
