I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize