I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This is not my ceiling
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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