We're like a lot better than the average bears
babies were throwing up all over the place
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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