i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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