just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
