Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
