He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
