Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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