If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
