the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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