u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
