It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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