Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
