just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
