im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
