you would pick up someone in the library
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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