the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
