what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
