I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
