five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
