don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
