I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
