Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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