Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
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you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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