he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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