I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize