have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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