i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
