If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
