haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
