i jhust puked up my retainher.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
