I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Shitshow foam night was such a success
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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