I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
