Swine flu. Run for my life!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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