Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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