we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
