you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
