my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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