The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
