She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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