I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
