Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
