I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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