You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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