i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
