Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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