Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize