I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
