weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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