My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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