covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
