omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
